Is negative body image stopping you from showing up in your own life? Do you hide when someone gets the camera out? Have you made an excuse to not go to an event because your feel that your body isn't 'good enough' ? Have you been avoiding seeing relatives and friends because you feel ashamed of your body? If you answered yes to any of the above then your body image is having a negative impact on your life. We may feel alone or ashamed when this happens, but you aren't alone, this is the reality of so many women that I speak to. Working on how you feel about your body is as important as working out. If you are being affected by negative image message me for a chat.
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I’m sure you have goals, most of us do, but are you really clear on what they are and how you will achieve them? How else will you know when you have arrived at your destination? This isn’t just writing out your SMART goals either, though we will cover that, here are some questions you may want to ask yourself to help you get clear on what your goals are, grab a pen and paper and scribble your answers down:
Tell me what you want, what you really, really want? I am assuming you have a rough idea of your goal in your head. Now ask yourself honestly – Is it something you really want or is it something you think you should want, is it something you are passionate about or do you think it will make people respect you more? If getting stronger is your goal, is it because you want to feel powerful? Will it help you enjoy a better quality of life? Or have you seen ‘strong is the new skinny’ banded about so you feel as though it is something you ‘should’ want? If you only had 6 months to live would you still pursue this goal, would you feel as though it was worthwhile? Is it something you feel excited about? And why now? What has started the ball rolling with you wanting to achieve this goal? What is the destination? What will reaching your goal look and feel like? If your goal is to lose weight what does it specifically look like, it’s not just about losing weight surely? If it is, have a poo and walla, you have lost ‘weight’ congratulations your work here is done! But if it is about more than that – what is different about your life when your goal has been reached? Can you walk for longer, are you feeling more confident? Wearing different clothes? If your goal is not aesthetic related – say you want to get fitter – what are you doing when you’ve reached your goal? Walking upstairs without feeling breathless? Being able to do a pull up? Going on long bike rides comfortably? Running a marathon? What will make it feel like “Yes, I’ve done it!” ? Where are you starting your journey? Is this the first time you have attempted this journey? Or like many of us when trying to reach goals, have you had a few false starts? If you have tried before and you didn’t make it, don’t be disheartened. Everything in life is trial and error and if you have had false starts you are in a very good place to assess what you have done in the past, what worked for you and what didn’t? Don’t let fear of failing again trap you in your comfort zone! What you have done so far to get to your goal? Don’t berate yourself if it is nothing, just start trying some things, learn what works for you! Who am I? What is your goal and does it fit with your values? Does it fit in with your priorities? Are you able to make the sacrifices such as getting up an hour earlier to workout or changing your diet, do you have the time to put in the work to make it happen? Are you willing to change and grow to make it happen? Is my goal SMART? Can anyone who looks at my goal know exactly what my goal is within 5 seconds? SMART goals are Specific (Who, what, where, why) Measurable (You should be able to track your progress) Achievable (Goals should be challenging but not completely out of reach) Relevant (Is the goal relevant? Does the result benefit you?) Timed (You need a deadline) Don’t get dragged down by over planning! You have probably heard “ If you fail to plan, you plan to fail” and while that is true some of us fall into the trap of over planning which can delay us from actually starting the journey to reach our goals. Map out your SMART goals and take action right away! Do you believe you can do it? When you think of the goal you have set, do you really believe it is possible? Lack of self belief will hinder you, expect to be successful. I’m not saying you aren’t going to have any doubts, some doubts are fine initially but you must believe that you’re going to succeed. Hey, I’ve been a bit silent online for a while so I thought I’d give a little “Hello, I’m still here post” I am Emma, a plus size (Currently a size UK16 – not that size matters of course), body positive personal trainer and I am really passionate about working with women to improve their confidence around exercise, helping them to improve consistency with exercise rather than jumping into a guilt induced workout regime that is unattainable. Hope you are all good! xxx Emma xxx Do you remember when you were a kid and you did stuff, simply because you enjoyed it? You didn't worry if something you turned your hand to was going to turn out good, or make you a success, or if people would judge you? Sometimes you’d get the odd giggle or judgmental comment. But you managed to shrug them off, because you just did things because you enjoyed them, they made you happy!
But then, as we’d get older, the giggles and judgmental fodder thrown at us starts to stick. We start questioning if we should bother? Will this go anywhere? Will people laugh at us and think we are stupid? Is this a waste of our time? I think back to me and my sisters as kids. Firstly, we were always playing 'businesses'. We invented libraries and restaurants. We had a jewellery business, we made little bracelets from plastic beads, but that wasn't enough for us, we made a little catalogue to go along with it and we'd try and make sales to our parent’s friends when they came around. We also like choreographing bodybuilding shows and dance routines to entertain ourselves. It was amazing and fun, we never questioned if it was stupid. We love doing these things so we did them. I remember my older sister, feeling restricted by her fashion wheel, designing loads of amazing outfits on her notepad and watching fashion shows and freely sharing her thoughts on designs and designers. I remember my younger sister writing full on books at 7 years old, full of exciting adventures and proudly sharing them with us. I remember writing songs on my keyboard, protest style songs. I remember singing about poor little spiders and cows to my sisters and people who came to our house. I remember designing workout routines inspired by ‘Mr Motivator’ and excitedly showing them to people. We were always proud of the things we created, but somewhere along the line, we got quiet about it. We started worrying about what the world would think of us. I think we each spent quite a chunk of our late teens and 20’s, like so many other people, worrying about what others thought of us instead of living life for ourselves. When you stop doing the things you love and start living to what you believe others expectations are you start losing little pieces of yourself. We are always told we have a short time on this earth but it feels a massive slog when you’re not true to yourself. It’s so important to start just doing things because we love doing them. I am not saying quit your job and start your own business, but honestly, if you loved drawing when you were a kid – start drawing again, If you loved writing – start writing again! Whatever it was, start doing it again because you enjoy it, do it for yourself without worrying if it’s good enough or what others will think of it! It might turn into something amazing, it might turn into nothing or it might help you find pieces of yourself again. These are 5 important strategies to start building your self esteem:
1. Make your own needs a priority. We live in a world where people talk about how selfish people are. Yet most people put their own needs on the bottom of the pile. Ask yourself “What do you need?” I am not talking about the type of immediate gratification that comes with pouring yourself a nice whiskey. What fulfills you? What makes you happy? Where do you want to be in life? It isn’t selfish to take the steps to get closer to those things. 2. Challenge your own negative self-talk Most of us are good people. Why is it then, that when we are alone in front of the mirror, we give voice to the cruelest of inner critics? Imagine if you said the things you said to yourself to a friend, imagine the look on their face, imagine how damaging saying those things would be to their self-esteem. Yet we do this to ourselves regularly throughout the day. STOP. Start to catch yourself doing it, start to question those things as if you were defending a friend from spiteful and harmful language. 3. Set Achievable goals. Sometimes, if we have arrived at the point where we want to set goals for ourselves it is because we are eager for change. It can be very tempting to say "I want to be able to do 10 pull ups by the end of the month" but if you are currently struggling to do 1, is it achievable. When we set goals that are way out of reach it can diminish our self esteem when we do not reach them and damage our self trust. 4. Experience Success Think about how we motivate children. If a toddler attempts walking for the first time, takes half a step, stumbles and falls down. Would you say “well that was rubbish, that wasn’t walking at all” or would you clap and encourage them with “yay, that was amazing, you walked, well done!” Seek out situations and projects that stretch your abilities but don’t overwhelm them, situations where your probability of success is high. Then praise and celebrate your accomplishment, do not say “oh well, it was easy anyway”. Getting some ‘wins’ under your belt will help you to build up faith and trust in yourself. It’s a great way to get your motivation rolling. 5. Free yourself from the shoulda-coulda-wouldas Seriously, don't get bogged down with what you could have done, it's done. Focus on what it taught you and how to apply it to now - do not use it as a stick to beat yourself with!!
A good amount of sleep is essential for good physical and mental health, but many of us struggle to get enough. Below are a few tips to help you get enough:
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A handy book to plan and log your daily fitness and nutrition. Plan your weekly nutrition, shopping lists and exercise and track it day to day in this lightweight log book. It's quite natural to struggle with self belief in some way or another. It could be lack of belief in your own intelligence, your body image, your judgement, your own abilities... the list goes on.
One of the reasons we struggle with self belief is because the main thing our brain wants to do is to keep us alive, this can sometimes work against us, making us shy away from anything we don't perceive as having an 100 percent success rate. I don't know if any of you have seen the film 'Home' (SPOILER ALERT If you haven't) Oh and the other Boovs run from anything they perceive as having less than a 100% success rate, until he meets a human girl and learns that you can succeed even if success looks minimal... honestly watch that film.. it's a cryer! Anyway, self belief is like that, it seems illogical at times, our brain is trying to keep us safe, but it can be our downfall, if 'Oh' didn't have self belief planet earth would have been destroyed. It's that serious people!!!! But how can we make ourselves believe in ourselves? 1) Learn to fail That's right we need to learn to fail in order to succeed, or at least accept that failure is only a temporary part of the process. It's like those short stories you were told in assembly. There is a life lesson in there somewhere, pick it out polish it off and learn from it. 2) Set Realistic Goals I have said this before and I will say it again, as well as setting realistic goals, set yourself up for small wins. Something you know you can achieve - It will do wonders for your self belief. 3) Acknowledge your accomplishments Write them down - as many as possible!!! 4) Don't compare yourself to others. It's impossible to fairly compare yourself anyway, we all have our struggles we all have things we are slaying, if your looking at social media you are only looking at someones best bits. You may have seen the term ‘body shaming’ used on social media and you may have seen it being dismissed as ‘being woke’ or some people claim that shaming someone will help them to be ‘happier and healthier’. So let’s first look at what body shaming is. What is Body shaming? Body shaming is making negative comments about the appearance of someone else’s or your own body. For example, implying someone would look better or would feel better if they lost of gained weight or comparing your body to somebody else’s in a negative way (“My thighs are disgusting and huge compared to hers”. It can even show up when trying to comfort someone else when they are feeling insecure i.e “You look better than her, people don’t like skinny girls” But what if body shaming will motivate me? You may hear people say that while body shaming is not very nice, it will motivate people to reach their fitness goals or to become ‘healthy’. Firstly, it’s none of your business to decide what is healthy for someone else. Secondly, Scientific studies have found that not only does body shaming not help motivate people, it does the absolute opposite! A study found that fat shaming actually leads to further weight gain) Other studies showed exposure to weight-stigmatizing information made people feel less in control of their nutrition and a study in 2019 published in Pediatric Obesity found that children who were bullied about their bodies had increased weight gain well into adulthood. "All of the evidence is that fat shaming just makes people feel worse. It lowers their self-esteem. It makes them feel depressed and anxious and as a result of that what they then do is self-destructive." Jane Ogden, a professor of health psychology at the University of Surrey. Worse still body shaming can be extremely dangerous as it has also been linked to eating disorders and can be damaging to peoples mental health One in eight (13%) adults experienced suicidal thoughts or feelings because of concerns about their body image. What can I do about Body shaming? It can be difficult to tackle body shaming, because it is so normalised in society through magazines screeching that a celebrity has cellulite or even sitting around with family commenting about someone’s appearance on a reality TV show, some people will believe in it’s existence as much as they’d believe in the Easter bunny or worse some people deem it helpful. So how can we stop body shaming?
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This Is me:
I’m Emma, I train women (Offline and Online) who may struggle with their confidence and self esteem. I believe that women need more options that suit different lifestyles and needs, some of us don't have time to stick to a rigid plan, some people are to scared to even set foot in a gym (I have been there). Archives
September 2023
CategoriesMy Qualifications:
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